Friday Chicken #11. Still not good at this.

The Hard Stuff

The work. It just. keeps. going. It’s not going to let up until after the first week of December – there’s nothing I can do about it, except keep going. The thing that makes it difficult is that I have to keep switching between Producer Sarah, Programmer Sarah and Designer Sarah. I like wearing different hats – but trying to juggle all three at the same time is pretty tiring. Such is life at a software startup, ya?

Still fighting the blues. This will be obvious to those who pay attention, but I missed last week’s Chicken. I felt really bad about it, but still watched the weekend fly by without updating.

Here’s how it went down. Friday I was way too occupied at work to take a break and write the thing. Saturday I was in and out of the house so much I still couldn’t take the time. Sunday? Well, let’s just say I didn’t get out of bed. I couldn’t. Between allergies, stress/depression, feeling generally crappy from not having myself-time, and the lure of The Deathly Hallows, I just couldn’t bring myself to face the day until it was starting to get dark.

To be fair, I did do a lot of reflecting. I just didn’t want to write it down. It took another week for me to be okay enough with the fact that I stayed in bed for an entire day, to be able to actually talk about it. What a crappy week I had to have it come to this. (This last week, after said stay-in-bed day, was better.)

The Good Stuff

This week, nothing really good happened. It didn’t suck, but there were no moments of awesome. Last week, though? Before the blahs hit?

Birthday, yeahhhh! I’m 32 now. Got all sorts of noms bought for me, which if you know me at all, you know is a very good thing.

Mao’s Last Dancer. It’s fantastic. I saw it with Jamie on Saturday, and my eyes were glued to the screen. Most of you won’t get this, but double back cabrioles? Holy business, I love it! Pretty okay story, too.

Halloween! and Your San Francisco Giants! I didn’t totally participate in either of these things, but I enjoyed being around them. It’s good to see other people being happy and having fun. It brightens everything, as long as they don’t get belligerently drunk (like tends to happen here in Vegas). I mostly avoided the bad parts.

Oh my gawd you guys, do you know what I finished?? I won’t tell you until next week. But it’s awesome. Anticipate!

Objectives Quests!

Blegh. Objectives sounds so cold and business-like, but I really do want to add a section for looking forward to next week. I need a list.

I totally failed at not freaking out. Looking at my list, it would be easy to blame a birthday, but I don’t think that was it. I think it had to do more with too much of everything, and not listening to when my body said enough is enough. I’m still not good at it, but I know it’ll just take practice.

My next quest looks like this:

  • Relax.
  • Keep putting one foot in front of the other.
  • Dance. Move. Flail. Run. Stretch. Breathe. Not all at once.

Stuff will get done, and no matter how far away the goal seems, I will feel like I have been productive.

Friday Chicken #12. I am a bouncing ball.

The Hard Stuff

So, Monday Happened. Hoo boy, all the things I was holding in from last week came out on Monday. I was full of anger and shame, which is not a good combination ever, let alone when you are trying to ship a game with a group of also-tired people. Near the end of the day I had a nice one-on-one with my boss, then I had dinner (read: wine) with the fabulous Angela, and the bounce happened. I had expunged my stress, and could finally let it go. Thank God, that sucked balls.

Sleep patterns are holding. I Facebook’d a little while back that I’d come to the realization that it’s pretty unbecoming for a 32-year-old to hit snooze six times every morning instead of, say, trusting her nighttime self to know when she needs to get up in the morning. You know how well that worked? I got out of bed after only one snooze! For just two days in a row. I can chock it up to being overworked and underslept, but then I think about things like what it will be like when I’m a mom someday. You can’t hit snooze on babies. People deal with this every single day; why can’t I? It’s ridiculous; I know I’m not getting good rest when I drift off into lucid dreams in nine-minute increments for an hour every day. I just get late, and have to miss breakfast.

The Good Stuff

Beta, Bitches. In spite of my monsters’ best efforts, we are nearly done with the secret thing we’ve been working on. At least, one point oh. Still secret, though. Muahahaha!

Remember this?

Oh my gawd you guys, do you know what I finished?? I won’t tell you until next week. But it’s awesome. Anticipate!

Well, I still don’t have pictures. But I made something like this. That there sweater, I bought the yarn for over a year ago. It was supposed to be The Boy’s birthday present in 2009. I’m going with the story that the yarn was the 2009 gift, and the effort that went in to it was for 2010. Es verdad, ¿verdad?

Do you know how freaking good it feels, to take something you’ve worked on (on and off) for a year, and just finish it? Of course you do. You are all reasonable people.

There are bursts of energy. Por ejemplo, Wednesday I came home from work at 11:00. Then I cleaned for an hour. Sink emptied of dirty dishes, smelly trash removed from the house, piles of paper sorted (and stacked neatly to wait for the weekend), floordrobe gone. I already know I can’t go to bed directly after getting home from work, no matter how late it is, so I just took the time to improve my environment a little. Worked wonders!

Objectives Quests!

Blegh. Objectives sounds so cold and business-like, but I really do want to add a section for looking forward to next week. I need a list.

I was totally fine with the fact that Thanksgiving break is coming up – looking forward to it, even – when I started hearing chatter about Black Friday. Blech, the holidays really are here. I love them, in concept. I just hate the commercial industries around this time of year.

New objective: ignore all of it. I don’t need to spend a lot. As soon as this hectic work period is over, I plan to get into the semi-hectic-but-no-serious-deadlines period of making gifts for people. Small things, meaningful things, bits of happiness for only the people closest to me.
Also: PIE!

Weekend Chicken #13: Giving Thanks.

I’m making a slight adjustment to the schedule – and changing this regular post from Friday Chicken (which I frequently miss anyway) to the Weekend Chicken. That way, I am as relaxed as I will be during/after a weekend of rest, and it makes more sense to set goals for the coming week. Sunday evening, for me, seems like a more logical endpoint to the week, and a better place to look forward from – although I reserve the right to post at any point during the weekend.

The Hard Stuff

You know what? I’m not putting anything here. I am just wrapping up a fantastic Thanksgiving vacation, and now is not the time to complain. There are things weighing on my mind, but they are nothing new (and better kept private, for now). Let’s just say that I did a bunch of reflection throughout the week, and revelled in my disconnectedness (see below).

The Good Stuff

Disconnectedness. Beginning at the time I boarded the flight to New Hampshire on Tuesday morning, do you know how many times I checked Twitter? None. Facebook? The same. I did a couple of hours’ worth of work in the form of proofreading and responding to emails, but that’s it. I completely checked out from my regular life for these eight days. I shouldn’t have to tell you how awesome that is.

Nice people, who didn’t care that I just wanted to chill the f**k out. We spent the majority of the break with The Boy’s parents, and we did…not much. I worked on a cross-stitch that is nearly complete, and I read Jane Austen. I watched a little TV, but not too much. Made pie. Ate it. Ate other stuff, too. Sunday night we headed to Boston to stay with friends, and continued the trend of sleeping until we wanted to, and doing whatever we felt like. That included seeing the new Harry Potter movie. Also….

Beer! Went to the Samuel Adams Brewery today, and went on the (free!) tour, including beer. Yum. Go there if you get the chance.

Even the airports couldn’t bring me down. Aside from a couple of wardrobe problems (missing button on coat, broken necklace), moving through the airports has been a breeze. None of the crazy TSA bulls**t people have been whining about on the Internets – at least between LAS, PHI and BOS. Reasonable security lines. The weather agreed with my travel plans. Wheee! I am currently sitting in the airport waiting to come home while I write this, so hopefully I haven’t jinxed anything, but the traveling part of this vacation has been completely painless up to now.

Objectives Quests!

Blegh. Objectives sounds so cold and business-like, but I really do want to add a section for looking forward to next week. I need a list.

So yeah, Christmas carols abound now. It’s not bothering me yet. I will repeat my mantra from last week, and just try to let it all wash over me. Nothing needs to get under my skin. I’m going to take care of myself, starting with sleeping in my own bed, with my own pillow, tonight. I am going to take a deep breath when issues come up at work, and remember that another awesome break is only three weeks away.

I hope you all had a great (gut-busting) Thanksgiving, and welcome to the madhouse that is Christma-Hannu-Kwanzaa! I’ll be sitting in the corner, hot apple cider in hand, watching everyone scurry by. Join me, won’t you?

Friday Chicken #4

Havi at The Fluent Self has a wonderful habit (among many) of checking in with herself every Friday, to reflect on how the week went. I like it. I don’t have a better name for it, so for now I am stealing quietly borrowing hers.

The Hard Stuff

This week was surprisingly devoid of Hard Stuff – at least, I managed to talk myself out of most of it. Examples include taking the 5 minutes (so long!) each night to wash dishes after dinner, finally selling my old Roomba on eBay, exercising, and not staying up until 2am every night.

In short, I’m still feeling squishy, still tired and allergic, but I’m more okay with it this week. I’m dealing with it, rather than ignoring it. I am not punishing myself, but taking gentle steps to make things better.

The Good Stuff

Movement. Saturday: ballet. Sunday: ballet. Monday: gym (circuits). Tuesday: gym (circuits). Wednesday: rock climbing class!! Thursday & Friday: holy shit I’m pooped – but I get to start it all again tomorrow with more dancings!

Girls’ Night Out! Monday night I met up with a couple of girlfriends – one who lives here and one who was visiting family. Wow, cocktails and catching up / mindless chatter are healing! Also, bonus: did not overeat, despite being at superdelicious Caña for tapas.

Did I mention rock climbing? I bought a Groupon with a friend last month for rock climbing classes, and Wednesday was our first lesson (of four). I learned to belay, woo! More importantly, we are getting very close to the awesome time of year known as AUTUMN IN LAS VEGAS, in which hiking, bouldering and now rock climbing will feature heavily in my weekend activities! I love love LOVE Red Rock Canyon.

Veggables! Lots of ‘em! I got my first CSA delivery yesterday from Quail Hollow Farm (1/3 share split with some friends, I am only one person you know), and have all kinds of cooking adventure ahead of me. Our basket included beets, sweet corn, Armenian cucumber, okra, summer squash, red onion, golden delicious apples, and Anaheim peppers. I dove right in for dinner with a sauté of yellow squash, red okra, and prosciutto, with a couple slices of bread from Nora’s Wine Bar. And a glass of Basil Hayden, I cannot lie.

Objectives Quests!

Blegh. Objectives sounds so cold and business-like, but I really do want to add a section for looking forward to next week. I need a list.

Progress has been made! None of the line items from the previous two weeks are ready to be checked off, but each of them has seen movement. I did, in fact, unclutterify a bit (Roomba). I practiced some wacky Shivanauttery (a few times, even!) – getting up early enough to do so, though that tapered off as the week’s weariness began to set in.

As for the monsters: no, I didn’t have an actual conversation. We’re not on speaking terms yet. I did, however, finally print out Havi’s Talking to Monsters coloring book & handbook, and place them nicely on the coffee table as a peace offering.

This weekend will be extra-yikes busy. Ballet-helpafriendmove-OMGROLLERDERBY, followed by blechworkonSunday-ballet-PlayDeadpreview. I already want to run and hide from the lack of recovery time, but I will try and keep tabs on how I’m feeling, and not let things get out of control. Work’s gonna be busy for the next month, whether I’m ready for it or not.

Okay, that’s not a list. My thoughts aren’t quite as organized this week. I need a nap.